Deeds Not Words

Opera Non Versi  - Deeds Not words - the motto of an organization I have supported for over a decade.  In the end, all that can be measured is the outcome.  The pretty words, the intent, the effort - all of that - falls to the wayside.  When it matters, when the chips fall, where do you stand?  I've said for the last four years that I wanted a ticket to the Ironman Championship.  I had my best shot at it at Ironman Chattanooga and I let it fall to the wayside.  What do you really want?  How badly do you want it?

The beauty of an Ironman is that it strips away all the bullshit.  It gives you a glimpse into your soul if you are willing to look.  As one of the local athletes noted on my Facebook timeline - "Each race, each IM brings new lessons and experiences (some expected and some not) but either way embrace 'em all!"  That's not always comfortable, but change isn't comfortable, and you can't grow if you can't change.  In Chattanooga I found my limits, physical and mental.  I learned some uncomfortable truths.  Now the choice is mine.  I can attack those limits and address those uncomfortable truths or I can hide behind excuses.  In the end, the words don't matter - Deeds not Words.  What do you really want? How badly do you want it?

Pre-Race

The build into Ironman Chattanooga was fantastic.  After Rev3 Poconos I felt that I'd waited a bit too long to start the build and I had been worried that I hadn't hit enough long workouts, but the numbers were all lining up.  At race power I was holding between 20.5 MPH and 21 MPH, and on all of my long bricks I was running under 7:50 pace.  I had weathered a banner season - 4th in the AG at Ironman Raleigh 70.3, 2nd AG at Rev3 Half W'burg, and 1st AG at Rev3 Half Pocono Mountains.  I had my highest USAT Ranking ever coming in to Ironman Choo.  I was healthy and I felt great.

My wife, Kelly, picked me up from work the Wednesday night before race weekend and we started our trek from coastal Virginia to Chattanooga.  We stopped halfway, in Roanoake, and then continued on Thursday.  It was a family trip, so we stopped at Lost Sea Caverns and Mayfield's Dairy on the way into Chattanooga.  I am a Marriott Rewards member and I had a room booked at the Residence Inn at Hamilton Place, just outside of Chattanooga.  I love Marriott because they take such good care of their rewards members.  At check-in they upgraded me to a two room suite without me having to ask.  Great job Marriott - you have a loyal customer for life.

The next day we headed down to the athlete village for check-in.  I signed in, picked up my packet, and we grabbed a bunch of goodies at the expo.  Little Debbi was handing out free water bottles and each of us grabbed one.  Small things matter and, this time, those extra bottles made a big difference.  Kelly and I dropped the kids back at the hotel and we headed off so that I could get a short ride on part of the course.   Kelly dropped me at the corner of Hwy 136 and 193.  I rode for 45 minutes.  Kelly leap-frogged me, I put the bike back in the truck, and we drove the rest of the course.  We had a great lunch at Pigeon Mountain Country Store and then headed for the hotel to chill out until dinner.

Peter, Jason, Steve, Adam

On Saturday Kelly drove the Snapple Hampton-Roads team down to the river to meet the Fat Frogs team for a group swim.  My Coach, Adam Ostot, met us at the river and Adam, Jason Bridges, Peter Lubrano, and I went for a run on part of the IM Choo run course.  After the run, we jumped in at a place that had been previously scouted by the Fat Frogs - it was the landing used for the IM 70.3 course.  We pulled on our Xterra Speedsuits and swam down stream for about 10 minutes.  The water was super warm, but it was a short swim, and none of us gave it a second thought.  We took some pictures and then went off check our bikes in to transition.

Bike check-in went without incident.  I let plenty of air out of my tires and dropped my bike and run gear bags.  We headed over to the Chattanooga Aquarium to meet my parents and the kids.  The whole group grabbed a big lunch at a pasta place on a bluff overlooking the IM Choo swim course.  We talked about my race plan, the heat (it was heating up), and when and where my parents might get to see me along the bike and run courses.  After lunch my parents took the kids back to the Aquarium and Kelly and I headed back for the last athlete briefing.  It was hot.  Fry-an-egg-on-the-sidewalk hot!  We stopped for a Rita's ice just to keep cool during the 30 minute brief and alarms were going off in my head.  Had I packed enough salt tabs in my bags?  Did I have enough drink mix for my bottles?  How would I adjust my pace?

The Fat Frogs and Snapple Hampton-Roads

After the athlete briefing, Kelly and I headed back to the hotel.  My parents dropped the kids off shortly after we got there.  We had pre-prepared a pork tenderloin, ratatouille, and quinoa for dinner.  I mixed 5 drink bottles, 4 bottles went into the freezer and I kept one drink bottle to fill my aero-bottle.  My training partner, Jason Bridges, had arranged a driver for himself, Peter Lubrano, John Oliver and me the next morning. I was in bed by 8:30. 




The Race

I usually don't sleep well before a race, but this time I slept right up to my alarm at 0430.  I pulled on my Louis-Garneau Snapple National Team tri kit.  I grabbed a bonk breaker bar and a cup of coffee for breakfast.  Two of the bottles I had frozen and the 1 unfrozen bottle went into my dry clothes bag.  I used that bag to carry them to my bike.  The other 2 frozen bottles went into my bike special needs bag.  That would be important later.    At 0500 I walked out of the lobby of my hotel and climbed into the waiting car.

Peter Lubrano, Jason Bridges, John Oliver and were all packed into the minivan.  It was a short 15 minute trip to downtown that early in the morning.  We were in transition at 0520 and I had my tires pumped, nutrition and bottles loaded, and special needs bag dropped by 0530.  I headed to the meet-up location and found John Oliver had beaten me there.  Jason and Peter met us not long after that. Jason had discovered that he had left his speedsuit at the hotel.  After a couple of phone calls he worked out a plan to have it delivered and we climbed into a bus to head to the swim start.

Hank Stieh, Steve Smith, Andrea McHugh, Jason Bridges, and John Oliver

IM Choo has a rolling swim start.  The bus drops you off, you walk to the end of the swim line, drop your dry clothes bag, and then head to the porta-potty lines.  If you time it right, you make it through the porta-potty lines just in time to make it back to your spot before the race starts.  By the time I made it back to the line Jason had his speedsuit and we were all ready to go.

We heard the cannon for the Pro start and then the gun for the amateur start.  The line started moving, gently at first, and then with more urgency.  It took us about 15 minutes to get to the swim entry, drop off our dry clothes bags, and then run down to the dock and into the water.  Jason jumped in and then it was my turn.  I swam hard for a couple of pulls and was on his feet.  We were moving past the slower swimmers and he zigged left and I zagged right to go around a slower group.  I lost him behind another swimmer and then he was gone.  I wouldn't see him until nearly 9 hours later.

Photo Credit:  Dan Henry, ChattanogaTimes Free Press

I stayed right, to the right of nearly all the other swimmers.  Pre-race guidance was to go deep, into the current.  I was all alone and I focused on staying long, high elbow catch, and keeping my breathing even - siting every 9 or 12 strokes.   At one point I looked up and I saw a kayak-er pointing to my left and I saw a line of police boats on the right side.  I didn't know it then, but I was nearly at the tip of Audubon Island and had I gone any further right, I would have ended up on the wrong side of the Island.  I was about 30 feet off the Island along the right side of the channel, swimming a straight line course on a curved river.   The water was warm, 83 degrees, and by the time I hit the swim exit I was hot.  The swim exit was congested and I lost some time clearing my way to the ladder.  Finally I pushed through and climbed up the steps.  I looked at my watch and I had hit my numbers.  I needed a swim between 55 minutes and 1 hour to be competitive for the age group - I swam a 57:07. 

Swim:  57:07 (15 AG/107 G/135 OA)

I felt good. I pulled off my swim cap, goggles and speedsuit as I jogged up the ramp into the chute leading into transition.  A volunteer handed me my bike bag and I headed into the changing tent.  I slid my sunglasses on, put a tic-tac container of salt tabs in my jersey pocket, squeezed some chamois butter into my shorts, and pulled on my aero-helmet and bike shoes.  My speedsuit, goggles, and swim cap were stuffed in the bag and handed to a volunteer on my way out of the tent.


T1:  5:38

I overran my bike slot and turned back to find that a volunteer had pulled it off the rack and was waiting for me to come get it.  I grabbed the seat and ran the bike out of transition.  My kit was still wet from the swim and the wind I was generating moving forward felt cool on my skin.  I settled in the aerobars right at my target race power (180 watts). I was spinning at 95 to 100 rpm and making good speed.  My aero-bottle was full and I had two 24 oz bottles that I had frozen the night before in my bottle cages.  I had six bars in my binto box cut into quarters.  I was eating a quarter bar and drinking every 15 minutes, and drinking to thirst.  I emptied my aero-bottle right at 50 minutes, right on schedule and it wasn't long before I was at the bottom of the course and making the turn onto Hog Jowl Road.

The historical weather data for Chattanooga on Sunday, 25 September 2016 shows that the temperature was 88 degrees with 85 percent humidity by 10:30 a.m.  The high temperature for the day was recorded as 97 degrees.  The temperature broke an 85 year old high temperature record for the month of September.  Ironman competitors have posted Garmin Bike Computer data showing temperatures exceeding 100 degrees on the bike course.  No doubt those higher temperatures were due to solar acceleration, but there was no shade on the course, so that was the temperature of anything exposed and in the sun.  The data is clear - it was hotter than the crack of a well digger's ass on the 4th of July.  It was hot by 10:00 a.m. and it stayed hot until sun-down.

Jason Bridges and I had trained in hot conditions in Southeastern Virginia all summer.  So had our coach, Adam Otstot, one of the professional triathletes racing with us in Chattanooga.  This heat was something different, something more malign, almost wicked.  After the left turn onto Hog Jowl a hot headwind, blowing down the hollow, was ever present.  It evaporated the sweat without providing cooling.  I was using every trick I knew - dumping cold water over my body at the aid stations, and sipping cold water as I passed through the aid stations.  By the time I reached the bike special needs stop I had finished the three bottles that I had started out with on the bike, plus one full bottle grabbed at an aid station.  I was taking 2 salt tablets every hour and alternating bottles of water with bottles of electrolyte replenishment.  I was surviving, but I wasn't attacking the course.  I couldn't attack the course.

I knew my race was in trouble.  On the first loop I had averaged 185 watts and nearly 21 MPH.  One of the things that my coach has always preached was to be smart on the course, to make adjustments based on conditions, and to be resilient.  As many professional athletes have proven, you can't win an Ironman on the bike, but you sure can lose one.  Chasing a bike split is a sure way ruin a race.  I backed off my power so that I could run when I got off the bike.

The two frozen bottles from my special needs bag lasted for less than an hour.  I was going through fluids at a prodigous rate, but I was still overheating.   I had to do something to reset.  At the aid station at Mile 75, I grabbed two bottles of cold water and pulled over to the side of the road at the end of the bottle hand-off.  I unclipped from my pedals and spent the next 5 minutes drinking cold water and pouring cold water over my head and body.  I filled my aero-bottle and put cold bottles in both rear cages.  Refreshed, I headed back out onto the course.  I held to my lower power target all the way back up the course and into transition, slipping my feet out of my shoes just before the dismount line.

Bike:  5:42:13 (30 AG/ 144 G/ 151 OA)
Cumulative Time:  6:44:56 (21 AG/ 128 G/ 136 OA)

In the end it was my strongest IM bike ever.  I averaged 175 watts and 20.35 MPH for 116 miles.  A blessing and a curse.  I was still in the A/G race.  If I could run under 4 hours I had a shot at a Kona slot.  As I handed my bike to the bike catcher and entered transition I was coated in sweat.  I had consumed more than nine 24-oz bottles of fluids and peed once.   A volunteer handed me my gear bag.  I made my way into the tent and swapped my bike shoes for running shoes, my helmet for a visor, and added my race number belt.  I had a nutrition belt and a hand held bottle.  I ran out of the tent and as I exited I finally needed to pee again.  I gladly stopped as this was a sign my body was still functioning somewhat normally.

T2:  5:31

My legs were fatigued.  I ran out of transition into the full strength of the afternoon sun and I tried to keep my cadence light and my effort constant.  I knew I needed to adjust my expectations and my pacing.  My race plan had called for me to run 7:50 pace through mile 13 and then press on my second lap.  That was on the backside of impossible.  I reset my target to 8:30 pace and planned to walk the aid stations.  That would put me at or around a 9:00 to 9:30 pace and at 3:55 to 4:08 for the marathon.  This is where desire comes in to play.  What do you really want?  How badly do you want it?

I have always prided myself on my mental toughness and my ability to make decisions under duress.  I have always believed that to be a defining strength.  We all have limits and breaking points and I found mine on the run in Chattanooga.  I made it through the hills on the back side of the course and I was still running.  I slowed from 9:00 to 10:00 miles over the hills, but I recovered as I came over the bridge and back to the start of the second loop.  As I came across the foot-bridge before the turn I heard my family call out my name.  My wife yelled that Jason was just ahead of me and he was hurting.  She told me to go catch him.

Just after mile 13, just before the first aid station I saw a gator pulled along side the curb.  As I came closer I realized that there was a pair of shoes hanging out of the back of the gator.  With increasing discomfort I realized that I knew those shoes, they were my training partners.  Jason was unconscious in the back of the gator.  I grabbed his foot, shook it, and called his name.   There was no response.  I stood there shell-shocked as the gator pulled away leaving me standing on the curb.  I had absolutely no idea what to do.  Should I abandon the race and find a way to get to Kristi, Jason's wife?  Should I run back the mile to the finish to make sure he was ok?

It felt like I stood there for minutes.  I had just abandoned my close friend and training partner - a guy I have spent countless hours sharing intimate details, hopes and dreams, hours of long rides and runs.  The right decision would have been to get in that gator.  To make sure that I was with him when they got him to the med tent.  The right answer was for me to find Kristi and make sure that she and the kids were OK and tell them what I knew.  My inability to make a decision under pressure cost me the opportunity to do the right thing.  I'm not comfortable with that.  I find it completely unacceptable, but there are no do-overs in life or in an Ironman.

I could and should tell you that that moment was then end of my race, but it wasn't.  I hadn't peed in 2.5 hours and I hurt in places I'd never hurt before.  I had hit my mental and physical breaking point.  I knew I could finish, even if I walked the rest of the way.  I ran some and I walked some for the next 6 miles.  Just before mile 20 I heard someone behind me yell - "Hey Snapple."  It was Brandon Blalock, one of the Fat Frogs team members from back home.  I'd met him at a practice swim the day before the race.  He re-introduced himself and asked me to run with him.  So I did.  We ran between aid stations until mile 24, where I decided that I could press to the finish.  The sun was going down, the temperature had finally dropped below 90, and it was downhill to the finish.

Run:  5:01:40 (50 AG/ 245 G/ 336 OA)

Final Time:  11:52:07 (32 AG/ 151 G/ 183 OA)

The Chattanooga paper reported that 611 athletes had to be treated for heat related illness during the race.  At the Ironman Executive Challenge breakfast the morning after the race the following breakdown was briefed: Approximately 100 athletes abandoned on the bike course (unheard of in any other race), 200 athletes chose not to continue after reaching T2, 300 athletes were pulled from the course during the run.  These are in addition to the athletes that didn't make the cut-off times.  A total of 2716 athletes were registered, 1652 finished the event.  The DNF rate was the 2nd highest of any Ironman event ever held.  The only race to have a higher DNF was the St George 140.6.

In then end it all worked out.  Jason was OK and the med crew had him squared away shortly after he arrived at the med tent.  It was a tough day and I am truly grateful just to have completed a very difficult race.  However, I find myself dissatisfied with my performance.  I just didn't want it badly enough and in the process I let a good friend down.  Change is hard, its uncomfortable, but without it, you can't grow.  The lessons learned in an Ironman are never gentle.

Thanks to Snapple, Xterra, Louis Garneau, Rudy Project and SweatVac.  You guys make the best stuff on earth.  Thank you for your support.  Thanks to my wife for letting me chase this dream.  Thanks to Adam Otstot, Jason Bridges, Peter Lubrano, and Adam Frager for training and racing with me.  It means more than you know!

Congratulations to John Oliver, Steele Byrum, Tara Grffiths, Sarah Zaglifa, Melinda Ilsley, Robin Taylor, and Brandon Blalock on completing their first Ironman event.  You sure picked a tough one.  Well done Y'all.